Just some good 'uns I found surfing the web. Some short, some longer but all are funny... at least to me

Conversation in the office: "Did you take French?" "No, I took German. But THEY took France, so..."

I just over heard a friend saying " on a scale of Anne Frank to Osama Bin Laden.... How good is my hiding spot?"

I told a girl once that if she had as many penises sticking out of her that had been stuck in her she would look like a porcupine.

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil

Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'

Stuff I have to teach my nephews

- Teach them to yell "are you having sex?!" every time he knocks on a locked door.
- Teach my nephews a new game called “Hide the Remote”. The rules were simple, if they see a remote, they must hide it. As long as it is hidden, they are winning.

One week vacation, yay

So, once in a great while I do get some time off to just relax. This week, I won't be online at all if you can believe it. Well, not really. I still have to check my emails. But other than that I'm off the grid.
So I'll just leave you all with a funny picture I found this week.

I pride myself in standing up for myself - even if it's a little unconventional at times

At one point in my life, I did some time working overnights stocking shelves at my local Supermarket.
I had just moved home after graduating from college and was willing to take any job I could find while I looked for a 'real job'.

I really shouldn't go on flights anymore. I am starting to think it's me

Just before a short flight the plane stopped on the runway because of a "mechanical issue." They turned the plane around and went back to the gate.

You should be able to trust your pilot, shouldn't you?

So, we're flying to the US and about 30 seconds before we were due to land, (obviously we're travelling extremely fast at this point) an automated message comes over the speaker