Supressing laughter in church is the hardest thing to do

So, I am a bit of a man-child. I constantly find myself amused by the most silly things. Just like a child would be. My wife knows this and has forgiven me, I think. One easter, I begrudgingly went with my wife's family to Easter mass.

The pastor declared that the church had "A very special treat for us" that day, and continued on through most of the service. When the time came for this "special treat", a man walked out wearing all black, with white face paint. It was a mime!

I immediately get a sharp elbow to the ribs, as my wife knows damn well this is more than I can handle. I try to hold it together, and am actually doing a decent job when the music! starts. I have no clue what song it was, but it was a heartfelt song about the life and death of Jesus, up to and including his crucification. Keeping quiet suddenly became 10 times harder.

My wife hands me a piece of gum, giving me something to concentrate on besides mimes, but its still hard as hell not to laugh. I am literally biting my tongue, to the point of blood being drawn, trying to contain myself, wondering the whole time if I am really going to see someone pantomime the nailing of a man to a cross. We get to the end of the song, i'm already crying from a combination of pain and contained laughter, and he actually starts to pantomime the crucification. I let out a few snickers and received another savage blow to the ribs, but it doesn't help. I found at that point that if I watch it on the projector screen, (there was a camera and a projector working in real time for the folks in back), it adds a degree of separation between myself and Mime-Jesus and allows me to not offend hundreds of people during easter service.

Finally it was over. We leave the church, my wife and I in disbelief, the rest of her family touched by how wonderful the performance was. We get in our car(thank God we drove up in our own car separate from her family) where my wife and I proceeded to almost die of laughter. After it calmed down, she told me that her parents wanted her to court him when she was younger.

I still make fun of her for almost marrying a mime.