One week vacation, yay

So, once in a great while I do get some time off to just relax. This week, I won't be online at all if you can believe it. Well, not really. I still have to check my emails. But other than that I'm off the grid.
So I'll just leave you all with a funny picture I found this week.

I pride myself in standing up for myself - even if it's a little unconventional at times

At one point in my life, I did some time working overnights stocking shelves at my local Supermarket.
I had just moved home after graduating from college and was willing to take any job I could find while I looked for a 'real job'.

I really shouldn't go on flights anymore. I am starting to think it's me

Just before a short flight the plane stopped on the runway because of a "mechanical issue." They turned the plane around and went back to the gate.

You should be able to trust your pilot, shouldn't you?

So, we're flying to the US and about 30 seconds before we were due to land, (obviously we're travelling extremely fast at this point) an automated message comes over the speaker

It's friday and during the week this stuff kinda builds up

You know how it is. All week long you get berated and get loads of work shoved at you.
But you can't really say anything if you like getting a paycheck.

Another one of these "don't laugh in church, god damnit" stories

My Mom, cousins, and I disliked having to go to church with my grandparents on Easter. We went because of tradition, but really couldn't stand it. One Easter, Mom was driving us kids there, and someone brought up the old ladies who loudly sing the hymns.

Ah, to be young and drunk...

Back in my young drunken days I once stupidly kicked the door of a bus (breaking the window) because the bus driver wouldn't let me ride without paying. (I know, right?)

Supressing laughter in church is the hardest thing to do

So, I am a bit of a man-child. I constantly find myself amused by the most silly things. Just like a child would be. My wife knows this and has forgiven me, I think. One easter, I begrudgingly went with my wife's family to Easter mass.

Did I mention my brain does funny stuff from time to time?

One time, while attempting to exit a parking garage, I became frustrated because I couldn't find where the "down"-stairs were.

Stock market report

Today's Stock Market Report:

Corporate lingo list

Here's a little clarification of corporate lingo.

COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up-well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

A bright new idea for general elections

You know this quote from Douglas Adams' "Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy"?
-Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Found a new way to irritate fellow pedestrians

Sometimes when I walk somewhat slowly on the sidewalk and there is only one person behind me, they tend to try to pass me by going faster than me.

Heavenly Intervention? Debatable...

A man was driving down the street in a sweat because he had a very important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.